De Profundis

Nicholas Ferreira

I really hate to admit it,
Lord, but I’ve fallen once again.
It seems as if just yesterday
I was lying in this mud
When you turned your gaze upon me
And raised me by the hand.

Today, as well, I need your help:
I’m sinking in the pits of my sin–
It’s not like I want to be here
In this muck, but much as I try
I just can’t break away: my feet
Keep on slipping, and down I go.

Sure, though I stumble a thousand times
As long as it’s the fight, not the fall
I love, no worry – many have said.
But Lord, these falls hurt a lot,
And it’s harder every time
To drag this broken body along.

Warm tears of remorse well up
In my eyes, leaving furrows
Through the grime on my cheeks.
How much longer, Lord, must I struggle
to my feet, when I’m almost sure
That I’m too weak to stand alone?

In my misery, I lift
My eyes, and there behold You
On Calvary, crucified:
Your bruised and bloody knees, sign
That thrice you fell to the ground;
Your Cross, that you got up again.

Christ on the Cross, have mercy on me,
This sinner who lies at your feet:
Wash me with your precious blood,
O Victor o’er sin, protect me.
When the fight is tough, be my strength–
I depend on You, my God.

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