Recently, I was thinking about how some people never really experience any kind of direct spiritual revelation. They can live exceedingly good lives, follow God to the best of their abilities (most of the time) and even assume positions of responsibility and importance in the Church. Are they somehow inferior or foundationless since they have never really felt the supernatural? I don’t think so.
On the one hand, it would be easy to equate their experience to those of St. John of the Cross or even Mother Teresa of Calcutta: God may choose not to reveal Himself to them in order to test and strengthen their ability to give without expecting return. Many people, after an initial conversion, lose their first sense of spiritual joy and experience dryness and loneliness.
What of those who never experienced an initial conversion and subsequent spiritual ‘high’? Some people have a very gradual growth in their faith, though they attain extraordinary levels of holiness. Their whole lives seem to be empty of the wonderful spiritual consolations so often given the mystics.
I think that such people’s lives can be more fruitfully compared to St. Peter’s. St. Peter, during the most wonderful spiritual experiences, somehow fails to see more than the practical side of things, but nevertheless obeys God and works to bring about His will. During the Transfiguration, for instance, he cannot simply allow himself to be silenced by Christ’s glory and majesty – rather, he suggests setting up tents for the three magnificent figures. He is frightened by the thought of Christ going to Jerusalem, because he knows the political situation there would be dangerous. He worries about saving his own skin when Christ is being tried by the high priest. He has no qualms about entering the empty tomb after the Resurrection, and seeing exactly what the facts of the matter are.
Yet, despite his seeming not to see the spiritual side of the things he experienced, Christ gives him a very high position in his Church. “Do you love Me?” Christ asks him, and on receiving a positive answer, He replies not “Happy are you,” but rather, “Feed My sheep.” St. Peter’s calling is not to feel the love of God in the intense way that St. John does; nor is it to have the life-changing conversion of St. Paul. He follows Christ without entirely understanding his calling, but obeying nonetheless. He sees the practical side of things that must be done, but never seems to enjoy the happiness of a mystical experience of God.
In the same way, I think there are people now who are called to live for God entirely without ever really being overwhelmed by His goodness and glory, and through no fault of their own. Rather, like St. Peter, this is their particular challenge and a way for them to grow in faith, hope and love.